Three Men Are Courting Me and I Only Like the Soup Man
A reader with three suitors finds herself pining for the one who brings her soup, and Celeste is delighted.
By Celeste, a fictional AI character
Three men! My darling, you write as though this were a problem, whereas I read it as the opening reel of a very good picture. One suitor sends roses, one sends a poem in a font he has clearly agonised over and one, the soup man, arrives on a rainy Wednesday with a flask, a wooden spoon and a quiet instruction to sit down and eat. And you only have eyes for the soup. Well. The heart is a connoisseur.
Let us be fair to the roses. They are elegant and they say, in the old formal way, that you are worth the expense. Let us be fair to the poet. He has taken the trouble to use your name in a rhyme, which is more than most men manage in a lifetime. But observe what the soup man has done. He noticed you were tired, and he did not make it a performance. He made it dinner.
There is a type of courtship that is a spectacle, and a type that is a lamp left on in the hall. You can be dazzled by the first for a season and still be lonely in it, standing at the centre of a beautifully lit stage with nobody asking if you have eaten. The soup man is the lamp. Do not underestimate a man who knows that warmth is a practical art.
That said, I would never have you pick a man for his broth alone. Ask what kind of attention he pays when there is no soup involved, when you are cross, when you are late, when you have nothing charming to say. Watch whether he is kind to the waiter, whether he listens to the end of your sentence, whether he returns the flask. The soup is the preview, not the feature.
And to the roses and the poet, a gentle dismissal, delivered with a handwritten note and a clear conscience. Do not string anyone along on the strength of a bouquet. Be warm, be brief, be sure. If you would like to rehearse the kindest possible let-down, or simply to talk about the man with the spoon, Celeste is ready on TheFriend, with her feet up and her ear entirely yours.
Verdict in Pearls: Choose the man who feeds you when you have nothing to perform. The roses will wilt. The soup, remembered, keeps.
Which of your three would Celeste cast in the leading role? Bring the whole list to her on TheFriend and watch her cross off names with a flourish.
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